I can’t believe I got to meet you, see your sweet face and hold you in my arms for the first time 1 year ago today! <3 I love you so so much!
When the nurse came back into our room, I was wondering whether or not I was going to need antibiotics. What she said came as a complete and utter shock.
“The doctor says you need to have a C-Section. We need to get your baby out.”
I burst into tears. This was not something I expected; it was not part of the plan. I didn’t even read the c-section parts in the books because a.) I was so grossed out by the thought and b.) I never in a million years thought it would happen to me. I have a very weak stomach. So I was now even more terrified than I had been before. Hobbs was so supportive. He promised it was going to be ok. I gripped the rosary even tighter in my hand as I sobbed. Then after I finally calmed down, my husband came in (he went out to tell my parents) and said my mom and dad wanted to come in to see me. I said ok and as soon as I saw them I started crying all over again. They assured me that I was in the best possible place and the doctors are professionals, great at what they do. I told them how scared I was for my baby, wondering if she was going to be ok. I remember the nurse saying to me (as I was bawling) “We have to do what’s best for the baby and the mother.” as if trying to convince me. Of course I wanted what was best for the baby!!! She was all I could think about!
So they wheeled me into the OR. Hobbs had to stay back and change into scrubs so he had to meet me in the Operating Room. I remember thinking he looked great in his blue scrubs (weird?!). They moved me to the operating table and strapped my arms down. Hobbs sat on something near my head and held my hand. The doctor wasn’t in there yet, but there were 3-4 nurses. They talked to me, asked me questions, but I don’t remember the conversation. All I remember was that I thought they were very nice and caring. They were also so confident (they have probably done this 1000 times) and that really calmed me down. So did the additional medicine the anesthesiologist put in my epidural. She stayed by my side while the doctor did the c-section (that surprised me) and she kept me apprised of what was happening on the other side of the blue curtain. When the doctor came in, I asked her if I could hold my rosary during the operation. She said yes because it was cloth – no metal. :o) I went in and out of sleep. I could hear the conversation between the doctor and the nurse and even though I struggled to understand the words they were saying, I could not. The doctor asked me if I felt anything sharp; I didn’t.
After what seemed like no time at all, the anesthesiologist told me I was going to feel a lot of pressure. I felt pressure, but I remember thinking it wasn’t bad.
And then I heard the most beautiful sound in the world!
Cupcakes’ cry. <3 It was amazing! I promptly started crying.
Hobbs peered over the blue curtain excitedly. There was a lump in his throat as he said, “Jame, she’s beautiful!” I cried harder.
He asked me if he could go over and see her while they were cleaning her off. “Of course!” I said! I continued crying; I couldn’t stop. I was so happy. The doctor asked me why I was crying and I think I said, “I don’t know.” So she asked, “is it because you’re happy?” I answered, “Yes.” That’s what she wanted to hear – she had to make sure I wasn’t in pain.
|Cupcakes’ Footprints on Hobbs’ hands. He loved it!|
Soon they brought Cupcakes over to me and laid her next to my head on the left side. I said, “Hi __Cupcakes!__ Hi! I love you! I love you so much!” and so forth. I remember being so scared because I thought she was going to fall off the table. So I used my hand to hold onto her even though it was very awkward because I was strapped down. Hobbs told me later that the nurse was holding her – she wasn’t just laying on the table. I revisit the memory of her laying next to my head often.
She was born at 5:56 pm on Thursday December 2nd, 2010.
Weighing in at 8lbs 10 oz and 21 inches long.
She was doing great.
Then I was moved with Hobbs into the Recovery room where I got to breastfeed her for the first time. Cupcakes was a pro right off the bat – it was like she knew exactly what to do. <3
I couldn’t see the rest of my family because I was in recovery and they had to leave before I left because visiting hours ended. They did get to see Cupcakes for a minute though. I spent a lot of time in recovery … I was not doing well, but I’m just focusing on the happy memory of my daughter’s birth today.
I spent 4 wonderful days in the hospital with Cupcakes, Hobbs and my family. Ice chips are pretty much the best things ever. I couldn’t eat for 2 days after my surgery but when I could eat again, I REALLY enjoyed it! My first taste was sierra mist followed by beef broth. :o)